Apartment dweller runs dishwasher after 9 PM, downstairs neighbor leaves sticky note on door every time: 'You know what you did'

Ally Perry • Writer and Editor

Jun 1, 2026 7:45 PM EDT

Is it fair for our neighbors to take issue with what time we do our chores?

There are a lot of things that need to be done to maintain the average home, many of which are the same whether you live in a cramped city apartment or a ranch in the middle of nowhere. The closer that you live to others, the more that you have to take into consideration how your daily behaviors may affect them—and that includes the stuff that you don't really have a choice in.

Nobody likes to be told by a neighbor that they are making too much noise, but it is particularly upsetting when they take issue with something that you can't avoid. In a case like this, both parties have to be willing to come to a reasonable compromise. Living near other people is sometimes going to be noisy, and that has to be accepted up to a point.

Still, it is not wrong to express our opinion if we are dealing with noise that bothers us. We have the right to be comfortable in our own homes, but this has to be balanced by the needs of our neighbors.

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_{^{A representation of a woman bending down to take a mug out of a dishwasher}}
In this story, somebody who lived in an apartment had a habit of running their dishwasher around 9 PM. The appliance was quiet in their home and appeared not to transmit that much noise through the floor, but all the same, their downstairs neighbors consistently began leaving passive-aggressive notes on their door whenever they used their dishwasher at this time.
It got to a point where they were getting so frustrated with being constantly monitored by somebody they had never met, they bought their own pack of sticky notes to retaliate. They wanted to vent about the uncomfortable experience of feeling like they were being watched while doing their chores.
My downstairs neighbor leaves a sticky note on my door every time I run my dishwasher

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_{^{A representation of a woman crouching to take a bowl out of the dishwasher}}
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